Listen to the Beat

I hate nuns.
especially old ones on TV
I mean like TV like eat breathes and sleeps sin.
RAWR
I spent my fucking day at the QVC shopping network place.
so GAY
I mean omg.
I wanted to RIP OUT MY HAiR AND SELL IT TO A CHARITY
and I love my hair (not to mention my dislike of most charities)
ugh
but I got some nice earrings for my second and third holes
Oh I am getting the top of my ear peirced...like over spring break of something
and I'm gettting my hair fixed then
since its ruined
the color is gone so I have these random blonde streaks
its yucky

cry.

1 Listen @ 6:39 PM

I used wrote a fucking 12 page outline and I don't want to double space it because then it'll be 24 pages and thats bullshit.
ugh. it's 2 a.m. by the way.
I have 3 more papers to write
Independent Reading
and then I can sleep
and get up at 5 30 and go to school until 2.
At least there is no school for me on friday.
I'd really like some emails.
I was drawing cartoons again today
they suck but one of them weirdly reminded me of a steve irwin because it wore this funky camo outfit.
yes i know he didnt wear camo
wow you can tell how tired I am
no HTML, no commas, shitty grammer...and spelling?
ugh
FUCK ART SCHOOL!
FUCK IT
FUCK IT FUCK IT
it's times like these I miss public school like REAL public school.
gahh.
I have no much planned for April.
going on WV for Easter. hoop dee doo.
Like 3 concerts planned...I just have to have my ticket dealer get me my tickets. so the one thing I do like about my school is someone is always playing a gig with some bigger bands so I can score tickets or something.

pretty fucking sweet.
I can't wait til this summer. I'll really try out this whole jewish thing.
anywhoo so back to April plans:
Wv, concerts, Sunday in the Park with George Crew/presentations, Erins party, Re-dying my hair pink and green with Alexandra, umm...yeah you guys need to see it, its all faded again now so I;ll take a pic after I refresh it though I honestly think I'll just bleach my hair and then make it blonde.
like tone it with blonde stuff.
That'd work.
I mean I like pink and green and all the other fucking colors but like I want to be a hardxcore blonde for once.
I am going to see Dora tomorrow night
and then I can crash at Lexi's...she better not want me to like be awake the entire night because I know I will die.
if I stay up all night

meh.
meh.meh.

call my cell sometime...I got a new ringtone (The Great Escape, Boys like Girls...FUCK YES) and I love to hear it ring. so i'll pick up after the song plays to me
OOO and I got this Jow Trohman ringtone and its all
"hey this is joe trohman from Fall out Boy, take your *bleep*ing fingers out of your ears and pick up the goddamn phone" ha-zaa.
I love it more
I love Fall Out Boy
I think I'll go see them in april too.
I love music so much more than theater,....I should learn to sing and try and change majors...uh no.
jk jk.
jess krause, jess krause.

nvm that.

Vah-jj is my homie.
she might read this fo'so.
so I wanted to mention her nickname.
wow its all "how i learned to drive"
I just got that
READ THAT PLAY TOO
Its about pedophilia and driving and its SHORT!
good for book reports
hey hey-e
yeah.

meg says meh

1 Listen @ 2:03 AM

I dont know what i saw in him. Maybe it was just the hair. But yeah. the whole reason hes not talking to me is because he thinks im annoying. saying i left him pages of myspace comments which is not true. i nevr leave him comments hardly and when i did recently i was trying to talk to him bc hes been ignoring me. and its not my fault if it shows that i leave alot of comments bc no one else coments him. maybe they all caught on by now. aabout what a complete jerk he is. i dont care if ill never be his hermoine. or if he'll never be my billius.

I DONT CARE.

maybe a little.

i wish that a lot of things were differnt right now.

i wish that megan lived in FL so i wouldnt only see her once a year maybe.
i wish that school would end so i dont have to deal with school drama crap that is sprouting up
i wish i could write fiction so my story would actually be good
i wish that I was J's girlfriend again or that hed show up on my doorstep and we'd fall in love. because heres my theory. I still have this prolonging hope for J and I to be together again that i dont want to be in a relationship in case he comes back into my life. I know thats so immature to think about and hope for and all but i havent wanted to BE with any guy more than him EVER.
i wish that things made sense
i wish that i could Rp with megan bc its an escape
i wish that ariel would stop hurting herself.
I wish i wish i wish i wish i wish i wish
but it'll nevr happen. They're all just wishes. ever noticed how birthday wishes dont come true or that throwing a penny into a fountai wishes dont come true? its because they arent concrete. Just out there kind of hopes that we yearn for and crap like that. usually i try and be all optimistic and stuff but i dont see the point anymore.

BTW.

i think that its stupid for the administration to put students in the gym for a tornado drill b/c so many things ((that are heavy and electrical)) can fall in those high speed winds plus the walls are exterior. they cant withstand the force of a tornado.
the administration is STUPIDO

3 Listen @ 3:44 PM

Note:All names have been changed ((besides mine)) to protect the identity of people who may not want their name on the net

Midnight Bus To J-Ville

Theres something about the darkness. Something that makes you long for the touch of others. As if the stars and the moon of the night are spraying feramones ((sp?)) everywhere. Making you fall in love or in lust, either way, you fall. And you fall hard. I must say that when I got on that nifty charter busI did not expect to leave with confused frustrated thoughts in my mind and an awkward situation hanging over my sholders. I suppose I brought it upon myself, mostly becuase I encouraged it insetead of trying to stop. Because I don't think it was all that bad of a thing and well...I was bored.

Let me set the mood for you. Charter Bus. Full of tired people. People sleeping or attempting to. A movie plays on the screens above. 3 kids, 2 girls and 1 boy, no where near falling asleep and goofing around all crammed into one row of 2 seats.

Now that I've set the mood let me continue with this drawn out ranting and give you a tidbit of information that perhaps instigated my flirtatious behavior.

Earlier on this trip before even getting on that bus to go home, we sat in an arena. Emily and I were making fun of Bobby calling him a man hoe becauce he already had a girlfriend but we could tell he was totally into Becky. So bobby kept telling us that he wasnt one when he finally just admitted "i'm not a hoe I just flirt alot" And we believed that at least. Seeing as how both me and Emily had been on the recieving end of that. Now many naughty comments and handholding later we were back on said awesome bus. The sun began to set and me & Emily giggled more at Bobby's hoe-dom and also frowned at the fact that our friend Lyndsey had not been on the recieving end of his flirtiness...ANYWAY I might as well get to the point of this rant

I let another guy get his hands under my shirt.

I suppose I should give out kudos to him becuase even though I was NOT wearing a bra he didn't take advantage of that by completely fondling my pathetic excuse for boobs. Though it did seem like he was going to cuse his hands creepd up higher on my boob itself.

I provoked him though so its okay. Emily had asked me if I would ever go out with him or just hook up with him after he illegedly "checked out my butt" as I walked down the bus then slapped it asI came back. I of course say I wasn't really looking for anything substantial so I would totally fool around with him. Well she ended up asking him the same thing and he had the same reply. So that was in the open. And that probably caused hormones to get a little outta control.

So right now. Me and Emily don't really know how to act. I guess I'll do the same thing I did with Jacob and put it behind me and act normally around him. Emily is just kinda weirded out because she was holding his hand for the longest time. ((also during the whole time he had his other hand up my shirt.)) It was fun no doubt. There was tons of laughing going on int hat one row of us. Kinda squished though so thats how Bobbys arms ended up wrapped under my waist and clasping Emilys hand who sat on my left. While his right hand ended up going up my shirt.

I had said something about "if your going to do something just pick a place and go" at his flopping hands that were smacking all around when we were doing something. Then I said how I was bored and I would leave while they had fun. And he looked at me the same way jacob did and asked me what I wanted him to do. I said whatever I dont care just do something cuase I'm bored. His hand found the waistband of my pants which I stopped it at. So up the shirt he ended up going.

Well I'm done ranting now. Thank goodness. It feels good to get that out somehwere and on paper((even if it is virtual paper))

Peaceageout.

2 Listen @ 3:32 PM

wow.
ever feel like a point was missed
and what I left out....That whole Glaciers are melting so its flooding, you know what, they've always been melting, no one cared until they could get tax write-offs and government money for it.

ugh Megan has some other thoughts on her mind at the moment to.
I'm sick and tired of AIDS and Cancer research. I mean sure you don't want your loved one to go through cancer or die of AIDS but you know what, people need to die. If we have all these cures, people will live a long time and then with new kids born each day, we will hit population overload and we'll be screwed.

oh yeah and I was listening to my mom's book on CD in the car yesterday. it was called secrets and it basically told that if you send out positive thought then it will come true because "people are magnets"
you know what I don't care how many times I send out the thought "No matter how much junk food I eat, I will be skinny" IT WILL NOT HAPPEN. So no matter how many times my mom sends out the thought "Frank will come back" its not happening either. "Or that Kauany will feel better, Beth will have her William Beckett, Ariel won't hurt herself" ...It's insanely unlikely.
And if you've seen the preview for "the last mimzy", oh that movie looks promising, you've got the reject girl from "How to loose a guy in 10 days" and then the freaky dude from "the office" with an earring.
and there is a kid who looks like the science geek version of Harry Potter.

Well writing this down seems to help.
I feel happier already.

1 Listen @ 10:39 AM