Fuck emotions.
I am so sick of crying. I don't even know why I am crying so much. Ugh. Opa and I were coming home from Lowe's (and I was in my PJ Ozzy tee, jeans that I have worn like what 4 days in a row now and my hair sticking out all over the place...so I was loving that fact I got to be so lovely in public) and we were talking about how he was going to take me out into the country and just let me practice driving and what happens. Can you guess? I start tearing up and crying. What the hell is my probelm? Maybe I'm emo?
It sucks. And yesterday was a relatively good day too. We went and toured a mine and then I got this little costume jewelry tiara ring. Elena wouldn't sit still in the mine and be quiet so we recieve the upmost glares from those around us. I bet it didn't help when Chase kicked a lady in the head. Though that was more interesting than learning about a mine. Then again maybe that's just me?
Wow I've just been informed that if my opa doesn't go back to work. Then I get to wake up fucking early to walk in a god damn park. They better be prepared to be walking with a bitch because I am NOT a morning person. I'll try and be friendly but we'll see.
I want to go home. Though at the same time I don't because I don't want to go back to dealing with all the family probelms, right now they are just in the back of the closet. But as soon as I go home, Lauren will go back to being the one always out with friends. And I'll be the one home, listening to my mother while she cries. Not that I am going out with friends now, but I think you get my point. I miss my bed though, I miss not living in a suitcase. I miss not having to worry about if what I type others {*cough* uncle*cough*} read. I miss the fact that my parents don't really make me do stuff that I don't want to do. Like guitar lessons, if I told my mom that I didn't like them. She'd be like "well you don't have to go then". As soon as I get home, I'm selling that thing, amp and all the shit it came with. Anyone want to buy it? I'll be selling it over Myspace and Ebay so yeah. Tell people. It looks new still. I haven't played it at all really.. I'm an excellent excuse maker.
fuck the tears are coming again. I hate this. Why am I crying so much? It can't be normal!!
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I think I'm going to go see The Devil Wears Prada. Maybe that will make me feel better. Movies always seem to help me. Especially when the movie is about fashion.=) If nothing else works, Out comes the Frou Frou CD, the Ben and Jerry's and of course the paper and pen.
Raindrops on roses
and girls in white dresses
It's sleeping with roaches
and taking best guesses
At the shade of the sheets
and before all the stains
And a few more of
your least favorite things.
~~~~~~~~~~~[Update- 7:24 p.m.]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay so I am feeling SO much better. I took like an hour long shower (so kauany was partly right today I do take my sweet time in there...but I'm not wasting water as the glaciers are melting anyway) After that I completely felt human again. *cue the song "HUMAN AGAIN" from Beauty and the Beast*. Ah, also the fat jeans were too big today and the skinny ones fit beautifully. ((Which I loved)) Then as I said before, we went to see The Devil Wears Prada. Oh my god, it was a Fantastic movie. Get your ass' out of your computer chairs and go see it. Still though....Emotions can go fuck themselves over. =) I am hoping everyone else is feeling as happy as I am.
