Sunday, July 9
somebody kill me now. my nose is running like a fountain, im excessively tired. im cold. i got kicked off the bed b.c it doesnt matter if i was already sleeping there. this has seriously been one of the worst parties ever. its like theyve completely ignored me right now i dont care. seriously i dont. i just want to sleep. get tonight over with. and go to pirates with ariel tommorrow and get away from hickville. i know im making this sound really cynical. but at 3 30 in the morning id like to meet someone who isnt cynical. im so sick of hearing about the guys of the group like ian and robby. and trey. OMG I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT TREY. i just dont see the point. and then i get more crap about dating alex. you know what. i dont care. so what i dated him for a week b/c i wasnt into him. ppl need to chill. i mean its not anyone's personal business to criticise who i like and i dont think theres anything truely wrong with him. i always have a great time. but whatever. i dont want to think about school. or marissa. or anybody. i only wish to think of sleep right now. and guess what they are STILL talking. as i said kill me now. and im so sick of being outcasted like its that way even at my church! for crying out loud. i dont really want to get into specifics but all my life im outcasted or left out. and i finally get a friend whos so awesome and she freaking moves away. i finally get a best friend and she cant even live here. and everything wonderful in my life isnt in florida. im sry if anyone is offended but id be able to part with most ppl in our "group" itd be hard to part with ariel and kevin since i consider them my best friends too. but seriously. i miss her so much it hurts. and i miss j almost the same but not as much. is it possible to not know what love is but feel those feelings toward a person. anyways id rather not talk about J. im having an introvert moment where i have to get away from people. i need to be alone and not talk. and im sure i was really crabby-sounding to them but IM TIRED. yes i know i have emphasized that point a lot. who really cares? i dont know what else to blog. im sure i scraped ther surface of most everything im feeling. okay sarah needed to come to this party so she could kinda ease some barriers. and besides i just want u here. and i really want to go home but its too late now. okay im going to read some more of these blogs. thanks for reading cynical, tired thoughts.
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