First of all I'd like to apologize to megan for not labeling my thingys. Sorry. Now what? I read the entire 12 Sharp book in one day. Wahoo. It. Was. Awesome. Anyway. Lately me minds been wandering down the long dark hallways of my head. And I guess it found a movie theater. For the past few days tons and TONS of scenes keep getting played out in my head.Over and over and over. Movie scenes, tv scenes, scenes from real life, imaginary scenes that my brain wished i woulda done or like imagining. ~sigh~ Sometimes it gets so bored. Why can't it run on a wheel all day like a hamster or something.Ugh. Its not that I hate all the imaginary stuff. It just makes me feel even worse about myself ((as if that was possible ~gasp~)) cause I know life will never be like that. Reminds me of the Goo Goo Dolls song Iris "When everything just like the movies...yeah You bleed just to know your alive!" Its a great song ~sigh~ Now moving on.
Beth I have noticed how so many of our entries are depressing. But I mean theres nothing we can really do about it unless we get happy. And from what I can see form the past few posts. Megan and Sarah have had happy times. Yay for ya'll. As for me I can't bloody think of anything happy except scenes that my mind comes up with... CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow...yumm. But alas that will never happen so long as I live in reality and therefore this entry is sad.
Has any one been watching Rockstar:Supernova? Its pissing me off and I swear its fixed. This one girl who can't sing to save her alive AND doesn't know/respect the band members music has somehow made it through two weeks. The band even kept her last week voting off Chris. Even though he sang AMAZING. ugh.
I lost my summer reading worksheet. Two fucking pages long back and front all filled in and its gone. Wahoo. As if life can't get anyworse. And now HOPEFULLY I will be able to find it. If not. Then familia is going to school to ask for another one and if they don't have anymore I'm screwed and going to hurt myself..again.
Which brings me to another point. I'm fucking sick and tired of lying and hiding and faking. ~screams~ I can't take it anymore. I'm going crazy not being able to say what I want because of how you will react. Ugh. I just want to be able to talk to you guys because your my friends and not have to worry about what I'm saying. Altering what I really think to hide everything. I mean I understand your guys side but I just want to be free, man. Free to say what I think without having to freak out about the consequences((sp?)) of what I'm saying. I'm tired of acting like I stopped. I hate lying to you guys and I don't want to do it anymore. ~sigh~ I mean I have a cut on my arm right now. I'm just making myself feel better and I wish you guys would understand. Anyways my parents know so I don't want ya'll going bonkers telling your mom dad librarian and who knows what else. Just keep it to yourself or tell me. ~sigh~. Ugh thats it. I'm tired.((but can't sleep)) I'm sad.((Can't get happy)) I'm hungry.((don't care anymore..screw food.)) I'm thirsty.((im sick of water and thats all i have)) I have a headache.((and pills can't fix it)) And none of its going to get better. ~sigh~ I'm just glad I could get this off my chest. Peaceage out.
"We are what we are, no matter what we might wish to be, or pretend to be"
