Poster: Megan
Music: the sounds of The Cheetah Girls 2 upstairs
Mood: worried and pissed.
Is there a family curse that I am not aware of? Is everything supposed to go to shit all at once?
Why in the fuck did we move to Pennsylvania if my dad is just destined to loose his job? We were fine in Florida. But then he decides he's bored and pulls us all up here. Yes I may like certain qualities about it but if it's going to end up like this...was it worth it?
Apparently there's a new chick there who doesn't have need for my dad and they might relocate him somewhere else within the company. If they don't find anything, my family is fucked. What if he never gets a new job? There are so many what if's running through my head right now, I can't even focus on things. Ariel typed like 10 responses and my brains just won't let my hands type anything.
The biggest what if is mainly "what if my looses his job then walks out on us again". I don't think I'd ever talk to him again if he did that to my mother. She's still so distraught about when he cheated before. In a way, I wish she'd just up and leave him. She's so sure that he's going to be asking for a divorce any day now...I don't get why she won't just end it. She's miserable! She's constantly throwing up because of the stress and it kills me to watch her cry and be so sick.
Mom wants me to start praying to god. But honestly, I don't see the point. I suppose that after most of the stuff that's happened in my life, a lot you don't know,some would have this revival and put trust in god. But its only made me less of a believer in anything. I've never been one of those "oh its bound to happen so I'll just let it" kind of people and that's all religion seems to be only "-because God is the one who is making it happen and he has a plan for me" is added to that last phrase. I think you make your own luck and need to make your own choices in this world. Even if there is a god with a plan for you, make up your own damn mind about how you want your life to be. You've never met this guy and you're trusting him?
Whatever. I think you need to trust yourself first and do everything on your own terms no matter how many people you piss off, its your life. You have 80-90 years...don't let others have influence over your decisions. Beat your own damn drum!.
I guess I'm done ranting and if I want my parents to stay together, I guess I can do my best to be a little less of a pain in the ass so they aren't in such hostile conditions. Now if my other 2 sisters can follow suit...maybe we'll at least sticktogether.
Aww such a happy ending to my rant. Now that doesn't happen to often.
