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Death
Fear
Crying
A stand still
why? When? What's the use of living if it's going to happen.


I've imagined what i'd do or say if hunter was kidnapped, or my grandpa's eye cancer was for real, or if my parents never came home, if i lost all my friends, and now if my grandma didn't make it through kemo. she has this serious disease. some kind of displacia thing. they said its a pre luekemia cancerous disease. we just found out in october. i probably shouldn't even be putting this on the web but it's too late now. i've always took my grandma for granted ya know? i havent been the most affectionate towards her in my own thoughts. ive gotten mad at her for treating me like a little girl all the time and trying to reraise me. but i don't want her to leave. i've never really dealt with that. in 7th grade when diane died, i felt bad but i wasnt heartbroken b/c i didnt really know her that well. she was a distant cousin.


i've been in such a bad mood.
sorry for ebing a jerk.
i've acted all happy which i guess could be a lie. but your my best friends and prbably know me better i think so im sorry for being snappy bc i feel like cutting everyone hair off right now.
1 Listen @ 10:29 AM